whispers (i hear you) – all that remains

i woke up at the exact split second Chris awoke.  We got up and did a tarot reading that said there would be depression in your day and something exciting.  Both things happened, the desciprtion was a bit more detailed than that but I dont EXACTLY recall what it said, I just know it came true.

After we woke up I used facebook like always, drank some coffee, smoked a bunch and took a bath.  I became nervous and excited for meeting my new friends Jeremy and Crystal that I have never met in person before.

We then proceeded to pick up my ambien and walk to the mall to meet them there by one.  Crystal wasnt there yet so we talked with her boyfriend until she got there, he was very interesting a nd alot like me and Chris!  Then crystal got there and we talked somemore and walked to the giant chess set in the mall so that Chris could play chess with Jeremy while me and Crystal talked.  We shared poetry and talked about random things, it was awesome, she has this very unique attitude in the way she expresses herself and aparently my subconcious couldnt help but try and talk like her, it was fun but embaressing because I always accidently copy people that I think seem cool and wonder if they think Im a dweeb or if they even notice or if they think that I do a poor impression of them or if they think im making fun of them… I always just think there cool.

Then we all walked back to my house while I helped Grandma Nancy with some problems and then we walked to the forest and (oh yeah, Jeremy bought us papers!) picked flowers and departed from our new friends and went back home, took a bath in celebration of a Chinese holiday with flowers and oranges peel and bath salt in it, it was wonderful to take a bath with him as I never had before =]

Then I drank two more cups of coffee and got back into farmville for a moment or two (fervent occaisional addiction sets in with me and this game) got to share and receive gifts from farmville that made me feel good about myself, happy to share and receive.

Now I am about to eat dinner, ttyl!

makes my heart go boom!
i cant spell it otherwise id name the band … its turmion i know that part for sure then its like kaitlot but its got funny apostrophes and things, its a finnish band from finland you know not like they finish things… lol corney jokes i know
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20u8deTbmbk&list=FL7LYr5e_zgXR0Ij7ibhBYUQ&index=19&feature=plpp_video

randomness!

lol chris says but it isnt perfect!! i say, life isnt perfect; thats what makes it perfect -chris says – “then it is perfect … >.>”

also, i added an update to my psychology page, check it out im kinda ranting but it makes sense i think it really got me thinking at least, i post the origonal quote and then i try to explain it its pretty interesting its all about cognitive development that all humans undergo and you might just learn something

i feel hyper if you cant tell.  i did not sleep so sleep deprivation is setting in however i took a small glimpse of sleep.  i had a wonderful dream about waiting in our favorite park then suddenly noticing a never before seen tree, it had snow pea pods growing off of it that were shiny that apples and red as them too it was beautiful i wanted to eat them but then they turned into beads growing from the tree it was quite strange and chris said when i woke up and told him, you got all that from falling asleep for 30 seconds?!? XD

i have an overactive sleep imagination a normal persons reaches REM sleep after about four hours or right before they wake up.  a person with narcolepsy reaches it within the first ten minutes, i always dream right at the begining so i usually forget but sometimes i dream all night but its always way to much to remember so i just rant for a while when i first wake up in my head about my dream repeating it as much as i can hoping to hold onto the memory as it slowly drifts away my attempts to repeat dont seem to work always but occaisionally they do i just have to hope my mindly just know to pretend im telling someone my dream and usually i remember but i dont always seem to be able to do this.  it is quite strange i almost think i have narcolepsy, the adhd medication aderall is what it prescribed for narcolepsy and it works for me to clear up my tiredness i always feel like i have bipolar that goes back and forth between depressive narcolepsy and manic adhd; idk man… oh yes i have all the symptoms of adhd, bipolar narcolepsy and skitzophrenia.  im a nutter!  heh
and this is why i receive social security; in case you were wondering though you probably didnt exactly know

me trying to explain it…

so then you change the past in order to fit new information which means you take what you already know and it grows according to what you add to it

thats accommodation cognitively
and assimiliation would be to take new information and use old information to make sense of it
they both have primary functions in the brain and to me they kinda seem like the same thing

in both situations the present is growing
just with accomodation you see something and it adds to previous data and changes it but present data is not effected by past data because its brand brand new

whereas with assimilation you take previous data to understand new data so like your studying a subject and you grasp the hang of a brand new discussion because a teacher already told you hella about the subject

as basically as possible... 
accomodation means to 
litterally accomodate means to provide becoming

accomodate
group see (provide) exists approach (be coming)
theres a past memory existing
you see something now
you approach what you see with what exists already in your memory
and they become apart of a group

assimilation... to take in and incorporate as one's own; 
absorb: to cause to resemble
so...
you take what is happening and make it a memory so 
that one day it can again be used to to present again 
or anew and be apart of a memory resembling something

 what the hell why are the psychological definitions backwards from the literal definitions fucking nuts

i dont get it
i see why its because you cant have assimilation without accomodation see if you make a new memory you have to have something to route it to so im my opinion everything assimilation and accomodation is just something you add to everything you assimilate

basically it breaks down to this, you have base memory, thats what you assmilate
and you take new memorys and you accomodate them to your assimiltions
but not everything you assimilate becomes something you need  for a base memory it may not be accomodated to serve any further purpose
all accomodations were once assimilated  and serve a purpose for self expression or communication

or you can have patience and feel numb

your not dead

just because you cant feel annoying dread

but are you alive

if youre frozen from your youthful insight?

i do not know whether or why

all i know is im not bored

and i dont try

so i wonder am i really waiting

if i am just waiting for waiting

for i long for that fleeting sensating aching

yearning burning deep inside

it never seems to last for i am broken

from self inflicted attacks

im trying to freeze frozen

so im no longer to feel my apathy greeting whats chosen

but instead as it comes to be

i am lost in grandiosity

instead of waiting

patience

can

see

that was awesome  in every way XD
I spent the day writing my fiances life down, starting from his youngest age, it was wonderful =D Its really crazy that he remembers so much but its not really surprising considering how crazy some of his past is.

Went mushroom hunting today and found an inky again!  yay now we have three!  I also made plans to meet a new person!  Hip hip hurray!

wrote a new quote to; check it
i dont cry to get other peoples attention, i cry so i can give myself my own attention

and

do you wanna have free dumb or have freed ohm ? you dont have to be religeous to beleive in peace!

torn apart from within
emptiness begins to set in
my hearts a pit of iron clad
forcing me hopeless, into a broken land

when will you save me
take me away from this foresaken place
please destroy this hatred
damning me to no waking face

the day becomes asunder

and the night is filled with so much to plunder

i roam around into the night

i love dreaming away from earthly light

unto a haven of sight; where i am up so very high

I fight my fears with almost no might

and if i cant i just take flight

for there is no matter of how hard i try

only of whether if i want to stay or hide

far away i would stay

If I could dream for my whole life

for that is when i feel most alive